A little May-December eye candy can’t hurt. Right?

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

Please, someone tell me. When did I reach the age where suddenly all the movie hunks are younger than I am?

When the hell did that happen? I remember Alan Rickman (67) in Die Hard and Sense and Sensibility. Hello. What a voice. I’d pay to hear him read a phone book from Tokyo while he has a cold. He’s quite a bit older than I am. Harrison Ford (71? Wow.), for example, is also older than I am – a hunky Han Solo and lovely Indiana Jones – and an exception to my preference for English men. As a young girl, I happily giggled over him and his physique and that ornery grin. Richard Chamberlain (Father Ralph is almost 80!) had that charisma, whether I was watching him in The Thorn Birds or onstage about a decade ago in The Sound of Music on Broadway. All old enough to be my father, but it was okay. Not a big deal. Didn’t seem gross at all. It IS, however, a big deal when I catch myself glancing – okay, more than glancing – at Taylor Lautner (21) when my kids are watching Abduction or the Twilight series. Even my 80-year-old mother was inspired by those rock-hard abs and blazing smile to state: “Wow, if I were only 60 years younger!” I happily agree, feeling a bit less guilty as I pop in one of the Twilight movies once again (hey, I can have my shallow pursuits). But, then generally at some inopportune moment like when he’s flexing some muscles or finally stealing a searingly-romantic kiss, it strikes me – ugh, I could be his mother.

*insert a shudder here*

And, while I am at it, how the hell did Hermione Granger wind up being selected the sexiest female movie star on earth recently by Empire Magazine readers? Isn’t she still about twelve? (See via the link: Empire article.) Oh, and let’s not forget her costar for years, Dan Radcliffe. As a fan of the Beat poets (especially Jack Kerouac), I was thrilled to hear Dan was playing Allen Ginsberg as a college student in his upcoming movie Kill Your Darlings. Yep, until I discovered the supposedly-graphic sex scene he’s filmed in it. YIPES! Dude, I’m a Potterhead of the first order, I love JK Rowling. It’s hard enough seeing Emma and Dan as adults when their 12-year-old selves still regularly grace the television screens in my kids’ rooms. I’m not sure I’m ready to see Harry having sex, as seeing Cedric Diggory (Robert Pattinson who, for the record, does NOT make my socks roll up and down) bang Kristin Stewart was shudder-worthy, and not in a good way. Link: is here.

Although, back to the original topic of this column … For example, Daniel Radcliffe is a dapper and handsome young man who is developing an amazeballs range of acting props and a solid resume of independent and big-budget films. But wait, did I say handsome? Whoa. How the heck did that happen? And it completely squicks me out to think that, I might add, much less write it. Um, ew. And, no, I did not make it to see Equus on-stage, despite the fact that I love the play and the playwright. I think I’m glad, I’m not sure I would have ever recovered from seeing Harry Potter’s dangly bits.

*insert another shudder here*

It’s not just the 20-somethings that give me a serious case of the squicks – despite the fact that I recognize the quality eye candy. And sometimes acting ability, I’m not completely shallow after all. For example, the thirty-three-year-old, new Captain Kirk Chris Pine, he’s so smokin’ hot that even my six-year-old admits to liking his smile and his “toy-koise” (translation: turqoise) eyes. Even dual sexiest men of the year, Adam Levine (34 – U.S.) and Benedict Cumberbatch (37 – U.K. along with Emma Watson) are younger than me, although, bless Cumberbatch, he is running head-first into middle age right behind me. And, thank goodness for Danial Craig,as the 007 stud clocks in older than me at 45 years-of-age.

Moral of this blog? I’m not sure there is one. Just a look at one of the little idiosyncrasies of life, of aging, (strangely) of parenting, and – I suppose – sex. There is a definite taboo that exists in regards to older women and younger men that doesn’t exist in the opposite. Look at the aforementioned Harrison Ford, who is married to Calista Flockhart, an excellent actress who is also 23-years his junior. But to think of trolling a college campus (um, ew, again. Or my own students, oh ew, those are my kids!) looking for love? Hitting a frat party to see if I can “pull?” Did I say “um, ew” yet? Perhaps it’s a maternal instinct that is far deeper ingrained than the paternal one? Something hormonal that makes me want to pat Daniel Radcliffe on the head rather than run my fingers through his hair?

*insert yet another shudder here*

So, what’s a *mumble*mumble*-year-old girl to do? I suppose I’ll keep an eye on Craig and other excellent actors (and, admittedly, eye candy) such as Matthew McConaughey and Brad Pitt. Give peripheral glances at the young pups as they explode on the scene with their perfect, veneered smiles and trainer-induced abs and “man-dents.” And those of us who are already a bit “mature,” well, we’ll just have to grow old together.

I’ll buy the popcorn, boys.